Cussing Christians
By Pam Hogeweide
Pam is a mom a wife and a “for real” follower of Jesus. Pam spent many years working with YWAM and currently resides in Oregon. She originally got our attention by unsubscribing to The Idealab to protest the cost of a conference we produce. We liked her chutzpah and opened a dialog with her about other things that bug her about Christians and Church. In true Pam form she “took us to places we hadn’t thought about”. Fasten your seat belts and get ready to have your assumptions challenged or maybe bent.
[photopress:seehearspeaknoevil.jpg,thumb,alignleft]“What the f*** is wrong with me?” The mother lode of all swear words flew through my mouth before I could stop myself and it landed onto the ears of my missionary friends. Our conversation had become vulnerable and as I let my guard down a bit of my bloody, cuss-infested guts spilt out. I quickly apologized. They assured me that all was well, no offense taken. But I must have triggered an avalanche of swearing because they cussed it up for the rest of the evening. I hadn’t heard that much profanity since watching The Soprano’s on Sunday night.
What is it about cussing that gets our attention in the sub-culture of American Christianity? Why is it that we can go to a 12-step recovery meeting and feel more freedom with our language there than we do at a church gathering?
I know a Christian counselor who tells me that he lets his clients know they can use any words they want to express themselves to him. I kind of wonder why bartenders don’t have to do the same thing with their customers.
Recently I was in conversation with a pastor I know. To emphasize a point he said, “Why the hell…” then, as if he realized his fly was open, he quickly retracted, “I mean, ‘Why aren’t we…’” I called him on it straight away (not because I was offended, but because I was intrigued at his self-censorship). “I’m speaking freely with you,” he explained.
Religious people, to me, can be sort of like the woman in the classic Al Pacino film, Dog Day Afternoon, who said to her cussing co-workers, “I’m a Christian. My ears are not garbage cans.” The thing is, we sometimes can’t hear what someone is saying because we are too busy being riled up that they just said sh*t. When I was younger I had a roommate who was very pious and read her bible a lot. In contrast, I wrestled with some personal difficulties, like depression. She would pummel my broken heart with verse after verse of how I ought to be and feel, until one day, overcome by frustration, I finally told her to f*** off. We both sat there stunned. That little word carries a lot of power. Finally she spoke, “Pam, I don’t think it’s very godly to use language like that. The bible says…” and on she droned, unable to hear the unspoken hurt inside of me for she was too busy being offended by my language.
Swearing is not just about swearing, but about the undercurrents of our inner life. Cussing is part of the language of our emotions.
I talked with Mike Yankoski and Sam Purvis about swearing. These guys, who are followers of Christ, decided to take a break from college a few years ago and live homeless – on purpose. They traveled to different cities over several months to explore America as street people. Mike wrote a book about their experiences called Under the Overpass. His book is a fascinating look at street culture, except for one thing – it’s a sanitized memoir. Mike told me that because it was being published by a Christian publisher for a Christian audience that, in this context, it meant No Swearing. (I guess his publisher doesn’t know any cussing Christians like I do)
Mike and Sam have great insights about the power of words and swearing. They heard a lot of it while living on the streets of our nation’s cities. “Using a cuss word is almost like a non-verbal form of communication,” says Mike. “It’s like slapping someone in the middle of a sentence.” Sam decided that it’s all about context and that words themselves are neither good, nor bad, but rather how they are intended is what matters. “Language is just the carrier of our thoughts and feelings,” Sam told me
Ken and Deborah Loyd would agree. They’re pastors of The Bridge, a church in Portland, Oregon that welcomes people from the streets no matter what they look like or how they talk. Actually, the Loyd’s look and sound a lot like the very people they are giving Jesus to. “We’re not swearing, “says Deborah, “we use words that the Christian culture would call swear words, but in our culture they are not.”
Swearing in street life is like a dialect. But what about cussing Christians? Can that ever be ok? Didn’t Paul, the magnificent apostle who wrote half the new testament instruct followers of Christ to stay away from harmful speech? There are some verses that straight out say Do Not let unwholesome speech come out of your mouth. I want to know: Who decides what’s unwholesome?
In some households words like piss or crap are considered vulgar, definitely not on the wholesome list. I have sometimes wondered how Jesus got away with calling the Pharisees names like whitewashed tombs (ouch) or another time he compared them to a brood of snakes(doesn’t sound wholesome to me). We know he was considered completely sinless to God his Father, so what gives? Why did Jesus’ language not cross the line into the sin zone?
Context and intent – it seems to go back to that. Not religious wrangling over the legality of certain words, but rather, the motive of the speaker. Jesus said, “It’s your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words.” (Matthew 12:34, The Message)
“How does a follower of Jesus use language?” asked Todd Hunter, president of Alpha Course. “Love,” concludes Todd, “is to be the judge of all speech.” I think that’s the bottom line to using any language.
Mark Twain said it this way, “The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong. He can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.”
Words have power and context is everything …and I suppose I can call you butthead, as long as I do it in love.
April 22nd, 2006 · 15 Comments
Categories: DE Archive · Doable Evangelism · Further Off The Map
Sarah said
am September 6 2008 @ 2:15 am
Damn! That was one hell of an article!
I agree, there are no “bad” words, just bad intent.
Zach said
am November 9 2008 @ 2:02 am
im pentecostal and we think cussing is bad but a pastor came to our church and said “…we are gonna get the HELL out of you” and he literally meant it
Randy Siever said
am November 11 2008 @ 12:35 pm
Zach,
Nice try…but I don’t think HELL counts as a swear word if you say it in church (and in context, as that bad place we don’t want to end up in after our physical death). Neither is DAMN, if used in the same way. Or ASS, if referring to a Biblical form of transportation. Thanks for playing, though!
Personally, I’m in favor of using whatever words seem appropriate to the moment/context/subject…even in church. Cultural sensitivity is the issue here more than biblical mandate, I think, when it comes to swearing in church. I doubt it would ever be culturally appropriate to drop an “F” bomb in church, for example…unless it’s the Bridge (mentioned above) where this is completely acceptable and understood. In face to face conversations, personal sensitivity becomes the rule. If you ever dropped an “F” bomb in front of my mom, for example, you would immediately feel her wrath upon thy face.
Thanks for the comment, Z!
Rey said
am November 13 2008 @ 8:22 pm
I have to disagree with you. The book of James tells us in 1:26 that “If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tigh rein on his tongue. He decieves himself and his religion is worthless.” I am not trying to convict or anger you. Merely pointing out the scriptural reason why I don’t agree. I myself dealt with this, but eventually my language became just as clean in circles of friends where everybody cussed as it did in the foyer after church service
Randy said
am November 14 2008 @ 2:00 am
So, Rey…you think that passage was speaking about cussing? I thought it was about gossip, slander, rumor spreading, etc…you know, things that seem perfectly ok during election time, for example (I hope you hear my sarcasm here…I am so fed up with Christians slandering and gossiping in Jesus’ name).
I hear what you’re saying and respect the healing of the tongue you testify to here (I had a similar healing myself), but I think Jesus (and Paul) had bigger fish to fry than certain words that are considered “cuss words”. It has been argued that Jesus’ rants against the Pharisees was literally cussing in his time (those mentioned in the ariticle above in particular).
Nevertheless, loving your neighbor means doing (and speaking) what is in your neighbor’s best interest, so I think in general our society would be better off with less hostile language.
But I’m not offended by any of it…and it doesn’t sound like you are, either. Thanks for the comment.
earth2LA said
am November 17 2008 @ 6:28 pm
In my opinion, there is not one concept, emotion or state of being that can’t be expressed WITHOUT the use of curse words… “cuss” is not even really correct. It is “curse” — literally derived from “cursing someone or thing.”
Our speech patterns are mostly habitual. I think that Christians need to be more mindful of our speech. As Christians, though we are “in the world” we are not “of the world.” This includes how we use our mouths and language.
Would we curse or use foul language if Jesus, himself, was standing before us?
What makes us think that he isn’t? If Christ is in our hearts, he is not only BEFORE us but WITHIN us! We need to make every word, thought, and deed reflect the fact that Christ’s love and light are shining through us to bring LIGHT unto the world. When we are filled with the Holy Spirit, our words glorify God.
Curse words are dark, unmindful speech habits. They certainly impact others in a way that is easily seen as not very Christ-like. When we aren’t mindful of what is going INTO our ears, minds and spirits from the culture and world around us, we become very desensitized to language, violence, sex and many other things that are OF the world. We can’t allow this aspect of worldly culture to ooze into our practice and into our lives.
It is challenging indeed to cleanse ourselves of habits and addictions. However, I don’t think that we should make a comfortable cultural “compromise” with regard to language. Our culture is only as elevated and Godly as we make it. How can Christians praise God, pray, bless others and use the same tongue unmindfully by using crude language with each other?
I pray that we will keep our language holy, loving, kind and elevated… that we will let the voice of Christ speak through us that our words will be blessings and will be full of His Light. That while we are IN THIS WORLD, we will be strong and guard against developing negative speech patterns that are OF THIS WORLD.
earth2LA said
am November 21 2008 @ 12:22 pm
Scripture you may find helpful:
Luke 6:
43″No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit.
44Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers.
45The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.
Ephesians 4:
17So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 19Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.
20You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. 21Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
25Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26″In your anger do not sin”[d]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold. 28He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.
29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Randy said
am November 21 2008 @ 1:37 pm
I liked the part you DIDN’T bold:
31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Peace…
ken said
am November 23 2008 @ 9:06 pm
Just a late comment here … I don’t think using foul language is so much a sin as it is an indicator of ignorance. In almost all instances where I hear the F bomb, or the term MF, or other such foul language – the term doesn’t seem to fit at all. Where F-ing is used as an adjective, it makes no sense at all. It’s not metaphorical, and it communicates very poorly. It reveals a very limited vocabulary (at least the use of one).
PaulW said
am November 28 2008 @ 7:08 pm
Hey
There are some really helpful thoughts by Paul Tripp on the subject of language here:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=YUtPBCELCZc&feature=related
Hope you find this as helpful as I did.
Mickfry said
am December 2 2008 @ 9:06 pm
Come out from among them and be separate. We are to be salt and light for the world, not follow the world and emulate the world. Be IN the world, not OF it. In the end times, people will call right wrong, and wrong right. It is amazing but sad to me what those that profess to be Christians will do to ease their conviction and promote their desire for worldliness. Fresh water and salt water cannot come from the same well.
Kyle said
am December 3 2008 @ 9:47 am
Hypersensitivity is the danger. I have heard messages about the dangers of being “desensitized”, as in “if you watch movies, listen to music, and spend time with people who cuss pretty soon you won’t even notice – you will forget to be offended.” We should all be so desensitized. If we are out among non-Christians, we can’t be alarmed and offended every time we hear words we don’t approve of.
Jon said
am December 4 2008 @ 3:40 pm
So… I’ve read through all the comments and what not about this topic listed above. Here is my conclusion of what we need to be conserned with the most. I recall reading something along the lines of if I can’t say it in the church then I can’t say it at all. My idea on that thought the church is a building. Chirst is there, Chirst is not there. You are the temple so that excuse in all honesty is ignorant. Because you do sin as in Romans when Paul is speaking about sin and the understanding of it all with the Grace factor, for example we sin everyday its for lack of better terms “Flesh man.” If i felt smoking a cigar was a sin but craved one and fell to that few minutes of sin, i wouldnt just light one up in the church now would I, of course not, do you get my point if not let me know.
I also noticed that some of you were all about typing out the scriptures. Listen I can type out scripture all day long, for real I just spent four and half years of my life at a Christian College. That does not mean I am smarter than anybody but i am practicule. If you dont really study the God Breathed inspired word of God you will take many versus out of text. If your going to post scripture understand the issues and culture of the time that was being addressed. Pretty much do your research.
The fact of the matter is what it comes down to with this petty topic is that of personal conviction. And I recall reading about pushing your personal conviction on people, oh yeah that whole part about loving people and discipling them correctly thats in the Bible.
But really lets just use some basic common sense when it comes to the matter whether right or wrong if it offends somebody, apologize and don’t use it around them. If it’s needed because of the strength of using the word gets the point across use it. But dont use if for lack of better words. I did like reading the part about having a low vocab, because i think that is the issue in many cases. Sin or not let Jesus direct you in how you lead your life.
pamhogeweide said
am December 4 2008 @ 5:01 pm
it is always interesting to a writer to see how readers respond to an article. I appreciate each of you taking the time to not only read what I’ve written, but to also put your thoughts here creating a discussion.
There are many peoplein my faith community and other spheres of life where I can drop the F bomv and it is not a sin for me nor them. Words have power and taboo words especially carry emotive power. But there are also many, many people that I would never cuss in conversation with them. It would offend them and be insensitive on my part. That would be my sin to disrespect their convictions.
Jesus, for me, is not offended with my language. I freely use foul language in prayer. F bombs and other four-letter words may be uncouth and gutter talk, but sometimes it’s all I got. And the Lord apparently is listening more to the unspoken words hidden inside of that cave of a heart of mine than the words that find the light of day.
Thems are my effin’ thoughts…..
Kristen said
am August 7 2009 @ 1:20 am
Ok. I’ve been doing a lot of research on this subject. I’ve been cussing off and on since I was 14. I’m almost 20, and I cuss. I cuss to relieve myself of the pressure of being perfect. To quote Phillipians 11 “Even Jesus didn’t think equality with God was something to be grasped.” I’d rather focus on making sure people are treated properly physically, socially, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually than focus on something as insignificant as my cussing. I believe that God’s highest priority is making sure everyone is loved. I also believe God wants us to be our selves around Him and His Son. I think God and Jesus want to be approachable.