by Casey Cerretani

“Other pastors often get a condescending look in their eyes when they meet me and you can almost hear them thinking, “Some day, maybe your church will be a real success and you won’t have to work a second job.”

My Secret Life as a Bi
I lead a dual life – like one of those secret agents that holds down a respectable day job while thwarting international terrorism under the cover of night. The church culture has a word for me: the bi-vocational pastor. The comparison to a secret agent stretches reality a bit but I do hold a respectable day job so that part is true. But bi-vocational is a bad label; it makes me sound confused or experimental like a bi-sexual.

Other pastors often get a condescending look in their eyes when they meet me and you can almost hear them thinking, “Some day, maybe your church will be a real success and you won’t have to work a second job.” I used to agree with that assessment until I walked through a three year season of negative grace – the kind of grace that strips you so bare that you learn things about yourself that are frightening just as they are liberating.

Going Organic
Three years ago I planted a church in Seattle and opened a coffeehouse/art gallery space at the same time. It was insane. Starting a business or a church is tough work, lots of hours and enormous pressure; the combination nearly killed me.

I discovered that opening a business and being a Christian in the marketplace allowed me to create a space for conversation and exchange. People came to the Perkatory Café because it was a local coffeehouse that served up great drinks in a classy old building and most of my customers remained in that acquaintance-level relationship.

But my wife and I also met some of our closest friends through events and art openings at the café. I officiated two weddings just down the coffee bar from the espresso machine and had lengthy theological discussions with people who vowed to never set foot in a church.

Don’t Try This at Church
A regular customer who lived in a nearby group home asked me to help him with his schizophrenia – a task for which I was wholly unprepared. He said he could feel his mind slipping away and believed that God could help him stay sane and balanced. Participating in a typical church was out of the question because he feared social situations almost as much as he feared losing his mind. We talked every day while he nursed a 16 ounce drip coffee and he grew to know, like and trust all of us who worked behind the coffee bar. I asked him if he had a favorite part of the bible that he like to read to which he immediately answered “First John”. So I printed off the book of 1 John on a single page and he put it inside the cover of his bible. He agreed to read that, and only that, when he felt his mind slipping away. I did not offer this as a substitute for his therapy or medication — I just listened to his request and helped him make it real.

I saw my friend a few months ago and told me how well he was doing, how reading 1 John helped him balance the ups and downs of his condition and how grateful he was for the time we spent in conversation. That did not happen at church. Our mission in opening the café was to connect with the culture around us, bring God into the conversation when appropriate and contribute to the spiritual health of the community. We succeeded on all counts.

Well Churched and High Maintenance
What is preventing ordinary Christians from doing this kind of work? I believe church culture contributes to the problem because the social expectation people place on their church community is often unhealthy and sometimes destructive.

Our church plant met for a very typical weekly service every Sunday morning. No one that we met at the café came to the church service. Not one. Zero. Our church community drove in from points all around the area and gathered for the charismatic liturgy of song, teaching and food. A few people took notice of us because we met in a pizza place and that seemed “cutting edge” enough to generate a newspaper article or two.

But most of the members were well churched and some of them were very high maintenance so the church became a point of unending stress for me. The café was engaging the culture at about the same rate that the church was draining my energy to run the café. This version of the dual life was not working so I pulled the plug, gave the café away and eventually shut down the church. It was the most successful failure I ever experienced.

I’m a Multi-Pastor
Today I am completely at ease with my multi-vocational status. I work a regular job during the day with regular people earning regular money. We moved to a daughter community to the south of Seattle and are planning to open a Yoga studio (which my wife will run) along with a gallery space. A few of us gather on a regular basis to open the bible together, worship and pray for one another. And we are actively engaged in our community through several organizations that benefit from our involvement much more than they would benefit from our teaching.

I pastor my staff in the corporate world — even if it is a covert operation. I consistently pray for God’s wisdom on my way to work and find ways to nudge people towards God as I go through life and face everyday situations. We bring church to places where it currently is not. Many people seem to have graduated from the version of church that exists today and I look forward to new forms that connect people with increased freedom to innovate. Whatever emerges, I hope we will continue to live out a life of paradox that causes people to stop, reflect and maybe fall in love with Jesus.