Coffee shop friend…
This is from Joel McBride.
One of my customers is a local coffee shop, and I usually do not get a chance to ever stop in and relax with a cup of coffee because her store is not at the end of my delivery route.
Recently I decided to mix my route up so her store was my last delivery. Since I had the day off, I wanted to relax. I’ve ‘earned’ some rapport with her since I see her every day and have engaged in typical small talk.
I sat there with my coffee and muffin and we just chatted about various things — weather, headlines in the paper, etc. I’m not sure what started the conversation on the subject of children, but she opened up enough to let me know she has been trying to have kids on her own for quite awhile with no success.
She admitted it hurts to have her try so hard with no success, especially since she just learned from another customer that his teenage daughter is pregnant without knowing who the father is.
My wife and I have also had some difficulty in having our fourth child, so I was able to relate to her on these issues. She mentioned she may look to eventually adopt.
That is pretty much all we talked about. I never said, “I’ll pray for you.” I never asked her what church she visits, if. I never brought up the word, “God”.
However, I took the time to listen to her. I think I could now tell her that I put her on my prayer list, or that I’ll pray for her, and it would be well received. But, for now, our conversation, taken to the ‘level’ we took it, was doable, simple, and it did matter.
Joel thanks for being sensitive and observant. No doubt, you became a much more credible person with this barista.
August 14th, 2006 · 6 Comments
Categories: OA Stories
Helen said
am August 14 2006 @ 5:21 am
Joel, this is a wonderful illustration of how showing genuine kindness can open spiritual doors later.
Often people who aren’t Christians who are told “I’ll pray for you” are not sure what to think – does it mean “I’ll pray for you because there’s something wrong with you (since you’re not ‘saved’ yet)”?
But in this context, the other person has shared a reason to pray and you’ve shown that you genuinely care. So I expect you’re right – that if you mention at a future time that you’ve been praying for her, she’ll receive it well.
The order in which we do things can make a big difference. People tend to interpret our motives more generously if we’ve already earned their trust/convinced them we really care.
Jim said
am August 14 2006 @ 8:11 am
It is a “sacred moment” (not completely unlikke worship) when people open up to us on this level.
The act of this kind of sharing is evangelism in that it allows the person doing the sharing to experience (even momentarily)the love of God transmitted through us. This “hint” of heaven (or “reality” as I prefer to think of it) is God welcome mat inviting people to “tell me more”
Nice work Joel
One suggestion – prayer “list” is a term Christians use with each other but most of us don’t like being on “lists” we prefer knowing that a “person” cares about us. We often resort to terms like this out of nervousness but I think you could simply tell her something like this.
“After we talked the other day I asked God to help make things better for you- I hope that happens for you”
Pam Hogeweide said
am August 14 2006 @ 10:12 am
I like to tell people, “I’m an anointed prophetic intercessor and I’ll do warfare for you against the powers of darkness that are holding you back from your destiny.”
Helen said
am August 14 2006 @ 1:03 pm
Pam, I know you’re just trying to one-up me on my spiritual gifts
I hope you had a good vacation!
Jim said
am August 14 2006 @ 3:21 pm
Pam is a SERIOUS prayer warrior!!
Helen said
am August 15 2006 @ 2:45 pm
She sure is!