OA’s In Asbury, UK
This great story comes to us from a LONG way away, via Helen Mildenhall and Claudio Oliver who connected at this year’s Off The Map Live event in Seattle. Helen was kind enough to send it along to me:
During OTML Claudio Oliver (from Brazil…and a wonderful contributor to our OTMLive event this year) told me this story about Rene, a man from his church now studying in England. After telling me about him, Claudio took me to the hotel lobby computers and said “Let’s e-mail him right now!” So we did and I asked Rene to e-mail me the story and he did – it’s below.
–Helen
Hi Helen,
The Asbury Community Group has been on one of the most interesting things that happened in my life since I and my wife arrived in Birmingham, UK. Indeed, it is quite recent; we have just started it about eight months ago. We call it Asbury because that is the name of the place we’re living, the “Asbury Overseas House”.
I and my wife arrived in Birmingham at the end of September 2006. We came here because I started a PhD in Business at the Birmingham University. Well, you know when you move to another country, everything is different: culture, colors, language, accents, food, etc. We feel like tourists. Indeed we felt like that for about six months, taking pictures, going to places, exploring. Nonetheless, as time passes by, things change. In other words, you enter the routine of daily life and that nice tourist feeling goes off. It happened to us. After six moths we were feeling bored and homesick. We were missing everything from Brazil: from family to food. Things that we used to find curious and interesting started to bother us.
Then at the end of March, 2007, I was talking on Skype with Claudio, the guy you just met, and I remember that I was complaining to him because we were feeling homesick, we didn’t have any good friends, and we were getting bored of the culture. You know, in Brazil people hug a lot and we were missing to hug people. While I was talking about those issues, I was expecting to hear Claudio say something like “please, don’t give up”, or “let’s pray for it” or some other pastoral clichés. However Claudio did not say anything like that. Instead he said, “Why don’t you stop complaining for what you don’t have and start giving what you’d like to receive”. Wow, it was hard! I was not expecting that. But at the same time it was true, and it made a lot of difference.
Indeed, the Asbury Community Group started when we decided to start giving what we’d like to receive. We realized that probably there were other people living here and that could be felling like us. In fact, there are people from at least 36 different countries living in Asbury. We decided to invite people to come to our flat and start sharing our life, our fears, homesickness, happiness, food, love. We decided to follow Jesus and put in practice what he taught! Then I sent a small invitation letter for everybody in the house. We scheduled a day and waited. We had no expectations but, to our surprise, the first Thursday five people came. The next about ten, and just before we went back to Brazil for some holidays last August, we had a BBQ with about 30 people. People from everywhere: Asia, Africa, South America, USA, Pacific Islands, Middle East and Europe. And also from all sorts of religious groups: Muslims, Christians, Hindus, Agnostics, Atheists and so forth.
I think the most interesting thing that is happening here is that we are discovering that life was made to live together, with the others. We are discovering, in the middle of the individualistic British society, that we need people, we need community and communion. We need friendship and love. Yes, love above our religious and cultural differences. And that’s what happened. In the past eight months we discovered the grace of love organizing an international cookbook, going for walks, watching movies, gardening, sharing food and doing other ordinary things. In our meetings there is no preaching! We don’t try to teach or talk about love; we just try to live it. To make love, our everyday praxis!
Yesterday we had our first meeting since we returned from Brazil. We watched some videos and talked about plastic pollution in the world. Next Thursday we are going to have a workshop about sewing cloth Shopping Bags.
This is our group!
Love, Rene
November 8th, 2007 · 31 Comments
Categories: OA Stories
Pam Hogeweide said
am November 9 2007 @ 3:59 am
i love it. what a great thing a little hospitality can accomplish. thanks for passing it on.
Helen said
am November 9 2007 @ 10:42 am
I was privileged to hear this story twice - first Claudio shared it with me and then Rene sent me this excellent write-up of it.
I love the relationship this shows between Rene and Claudio: that even though Rene wanted sympathy from Claudio when he felt homesick and instead got hard advice, Rene listened to Claudio and took his advice seriously. And that led to the formation of this wonderful group.
And I love that Rene and his wife are ‘ordinary people’ who want to make a difference in the lives of others - and they are making a difference! They didn’t go to England from Latin America to ‘be missionaries’ - they’re in England because Rene is in business grad school.
Rene thanks for sharing this with us!
April Terry said
am November 9 2007 @ 11:59 am
This story is great. Thanks for sharing it. I have been thinking a lot lately about the connectedness that we are born with as human creations. We think we are individuals and we tend to want to be individuals, but we aren’t very far away from needing other people.
This was a bit of hard lesson for me because my father raised us to be very individualist, and so I thought I had to stand up against the crowd in everything the way he did. What learning about Jesus did for me is remind me that I am connected to every other person in the world and I need them as much as they need me.
Claudio Oliver said
am November 9 2007 @ 12:40 pm
Hi Hellen and other folks.
Good that Rene and Vanessa’s History has inspired you all. I’m very glad that with this history I can see confirmed the quote: ” The sign of God is that we will be led where we didn’t plan to go”.
Ah…. By the way.. Rene’s is not at grad school, but taken his PHD on Management there… he is a pretty nerd guy that I love soooooooooo much, and one of the brightest questioners I ever met.
Helen said
am November 9 2007 @ 2:10 pm
Claudio thanks for stopping by! Sorry I got it a bit wrong about what Rene is doing.
Randy said
am November 9 2007 @ 6:07 pm
Claudio! So good to hear from you, friend! Thanks for sending the pictures of your cute daughter and wife, by the way. So happy all is well there.
And thanks for leading your friend Rene. He is lucky to have someone in his life who loves him enough to speak the truth to him in a way he can respect and respond to.
I loved the part where he says,
Doing the ordinary things is pretty much what we’re trying to teach and appreciate here in OA land. What a wonderful example of what that looks like in another culture.
Claudio Oliver said
am November 20 2007 @ 8:37 am
Thanks Randy.
I think is time to go back to Asbury and learn a little about the outcomes that are coming in consequence of this OA. I’ll ask Rene to post some comments on children and sewing with some hindu women there.
I learned from my mum that “Who kiss my kids, sweetens my mouth” or something like this. It’s amazing to see how much love Rene and Vanessa has shown to the kids whose parents are taking their masters and PHds at teh University. They are foreigners, living in a university, with busy parents and it’s beatifull to see love given to them, not to convert them or as a disguise for evangelism but as a pure and sincere expression of love.
Lets see if Rene can post something about here.
Dago Schelin said
am November 20 2007 @ 9:12 am
Nice to see this story on the blog!
It’s good to know that there are other crazy dudes out there being intentional.
“The revolution is not an apple that falls when it is ripe. You have to make it fall.”
Che Guevara
Randy said
am November 20 2007 @ 12:24 pm
So great to hear from you, Claudio! Yes, PLEASE ask Rene to give us an update on how things are going! What a great example of the GREAT COMMANDMENT guiding and directing the GREAT COMMISSION. Loving your neighbor as you love yourself almost certainly proclaims the Good News…and if words are necessary, then respectful conversation will ensue (as it has, apparently).
Dago…thanks for dropping by! Where are you living? This blog is full of crazy dudes (and dudettes) being intentional, but trying not to be manipulative while doing so. Loving people intentionally but without a script or agenda. Letting go of the outcome. Trusting God to allow us to participate in whatever way He thinks would be helpful. It’s a very exciting and fun new paradigm for evangelism we call “Doable Evangelism”.
Keep hanging out here and share your experiences with us!
Bruno Haller said
am November 21 2007 @ 6:31 am
fato é, Rene e Vanessa venceram a maldita inercia!
Helen said
am November 21 2007 @ 7:42 am
Thanks Bruno!
Dago Schelin said
am November 21 2007 @ 8:52 am
Translating Bruno:
the fact is that Rene and Vanessa overcame the damn innercia!
Hi Randy!
I’ve known Rene for a while now… we e-mail each other when he needs some hints on video editing. Claudio and I have been friends for 15 years.
Love this blog!
Helen said
am November 21 2007 @ 1:44 pm
Dago, thanks for the translation!
Randy said
am November 22 2007 @ 1:40 am
Wow…you guys are fun! Thanks, Dago!
gabrielle said
am November 23 2007 @ 1:44 pm
Hi,
I hang out with guys like Claudio, Dago, Rene and Bruno and my eyes are filled with water (which is not a big deal if you know me!!) as I read about what God is doing is Asbury.
It is deeply motivating and I pray God moves the same way through Josu and I as we try to live out the gospel where we are.
Thanks to you all for sharing all of this!!
Love,
Gabi.
Randy said
am November 23 2007 @ 10:17 pm
Thank you, Gabi, for stopping by! You are very lucky to hang out with such a wonderful crew of Jesus lovers.
Keep coming back!
gabrielle said
am November 25 2007 @ 12:40 pm
Hi Randy,
Yes I think I am really lucky for that and I am very thankful.
My husband and I have moved away from Curitiba (where most of the wonderful crew is!) and we have been living in a different city now for a year. We have been watching what is hapening in Birmingham with great joy, and we often ask ourselves what is it tha we are not doing? Claudio gave us the same advice he gave Rene, but being in a different context it is not the same answer we got. We think that maybe we were not as intentional,maybe,but I guess we don’t know exactly how to be intentional without being pushy or having an agenda. We want to be relational and to let Jesus show up, since we walk with Him.
I am going to see others ideas to act upon on other OA stories and Claudio is for sure watching us both closely and giving us great support. So just pray that we take the necessary steps in the direction of what God is doing around us. That we may be able to see Him and do something doable.
Sincerely,
Gabi.
Helen said
am November 25 2007 @ 5:22 pm
Gabi, I think God is pleased with you both because you are walking with Jesus and you care about being relational. Perhaps you are doing just as much as Rene but the opportunities for you are different.
You are welcome to e-mail us your OA stories. We like all kinds of OA stories. Some are big like Rene’s group. Some are small but they are important too.
gabrielle said
am November 26 2007 @ 2:18 pm
Thanks Helen.
I will be sure to let you guys now about any OA story that comes up. Big or small!
Love,
Gabi.
Randy said
am November 26 2007 @ 6:58 pm
Gabi,
You sound just as wonderful as the rest of the crew! I loved this part of your post:
This is the whole struggle, isn’t it? I mean, we DO have an agenda as Jesus followers, don’t we (doesn’t everyone, really)? I think we must master what we call “non-manipulative intentionality” here in OA land. This is when we are intentional without controlling the outcome. What we have been guilty of is trying to manipulate the outcome of conversations, friendships, etc. This comes across poorly, as you know.
When we intentionally connect with those who do not believe what we do about Jesus, we can do so without manipulation if we simply let the outcome of the connection (or conversation) be up to God. It’s way more fun to see what God is already up to in someone else’s life (and then see if you can help) than to view people as projects.
I think this is what your friends are doing in the UK. They aren’t manipulating anyone or anything. But they ARE intentionally connecting with others and serving them and loving them.
gabrielle said
am November 27 2007 @ 8:54 am
Hey Randy,
Thank you sooo much. I guess that is exactly the struggle and you clarified quite a bit for me.
Yes we do have an agenda, you are right!! And the thing is letting go of the outcome. That is being intentional without being pushy!
Thank you. I will share that with my husband. It makes a lot of sense!
I guess that frees us to be ourselves, relating intentionally and letting God show us the rest!
Love,
Gabi.
Randy said
am November 27 2007 @ 11:59 am
Beautiful…
Rene said
am November 29 2007 @ 3:47 am
I’m very happy that our history here in Asbury has encouraged people in places I never imagined. I do believe the world can be a better place when people start living in compassion and love with their neighbors. I see this happening here in Asbury and in other places like Casa da Videira in Brazil. However I’m very concerned about people start looking at me or my wife as evangelizers or missionaries. Although historically these words were not restricted to Christian domains, common sense usually understands that evangelizers or missionaries are the ones who are trying to make other people Christians. To be honest I was wondering what people think when they read a history like ours in “Doable Evangelism”. I hope they don’t think that this is a new Christian strategy to make believers or something like that. It’s not! Indeed, I wouldn’t like that any of my friends in Asbury or elsewhere think that what we are doing has the intention of making people change their religious believes or become Christians. For sure what I and Vanessa are doing, I mean, the way we are trying to live, is rooted and referenced in Jesus. Nevertheless it’s far from the intention of making people believe in Jesus or become Christians.
Love,
Rene
Helen said
am November 29 2007 @ 9:07 am
Rene, our site is specially for ordinary Christians, not ‘evangelizers or missionaries’. We like to share stories of what ordinary Christians are doing. That’s why we like your story so much!
It’s more helpful if we share stories of what ordinary people are doing. Then other people who read don’t think “yes but I can’t do that because I’m not a missionary or evangelist”. Instead they think “Maybe I can do that too because I am like Rene!”
Randy said
am November 29 2007 @ 2:37 pm
Rene,
I sure appreciate your viewpoint on all this. Some of it is language, and it’s important to acknowledge that these words (evangelist, missionary) are “loaded” words, particularly outside the US. Thanks for the reminder.
We who are followers of Jesus generally would love for our friends and neighbors to know and follow Him, too. Doable Evangelism allows us to be helpful in that connection process rather than hurtful. It releases the outcome to God, while allowing us to be intentional about loving and caring for people who are all around us in the name of Christ. This is a new paradigm for evangelism which is far removed from the sales pitch version we’re all quite tired of. It requires a much larger view of God and a higher degree of trust in Him, but it also relieves us of guilt and shame and removes us from the sales rep model.
Thanks again for your story. May God grant you peace and joy as you love people in His name.
Helen said
am November 29 2007 @ 6:57 pm
…sorry, Rene, my above comment didn’t really address what you said - I missed the point of what you were saying.
The part I got right is, your story is very much the kind we like - because as you say, your intention is not to push people into becoming Christians. You’re showing people Jesus’ love and they can respond to that as they choose.
If your friends say “Why are you on an evangelism website? Are you going to try to make us Christians?” you can explain that you don’t like pushy evangelism and nor do we.
gabrielle said
am November 29 2007 @ 9:26 pm
Hi Rene and everyone,
I just would like to say that due to this blog, Josh and I have been thinking, praying and chewing on all of what is going on and I think things are clarifying slowly.
What we know for sure is that we want to learn how love truly and not to convert people.
One thing we do realize is that we do miss being around brothers and sisters deeply, but that we do not want to relate to others so that they become brothers and siters for our own little plesure. We want to relate sincerely and truly and if they become brothers or sisters… Uhuuuu! And if not, we want to keep on loving them the way we are loved by God.
In the end it is all about learning how to truly LOVE.
And the missing part… well I guess we do have to live with it while we are here, in this world!! And praise the Lord everytime we can taste Heaven by being around brothers and sisters!
Love,
Gabi.
Rene said
am December 3 2007 @ 5:56 am
Thank you all for your reply, comments and encouragement. I really appreciate them!
Kind Regards,
Rene
Rene said
am December 9 2007 @ 8:35 am
Dear all,
For the ones who’d like to see some of the things we’ve done in Asbury recently, please access the link bellow. I’ve just added a videoclip on Youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Md18jZztdj8
Love,
Rene
Helen said
am December 9 2007 @ 11:28 am
Thanks Rene - great video!
(edited to add: I see that Randy has posted your video here)
Doable Evangelism » Asbury Update said
am December 9 2007 @ 3:13 pm
[...] Our new friends from Brazil who are presently in Asbury, UK have sent us a short video update that gives us a look at their growing community. For the whole story, click here. [...]