by pastor Ken Sweers

I attended a Doable Evangelism event last spring where Jim and Randy expressed the idea that evangelism should be a daily discipline for every believer, just like reading the Bible and praying. Then they introduced an entirely new concept (for me) of evangelism called Ordinary Attempts (OAs). Ever since then, I have been intentionally looking to practice OAs on a regular basis. Being somewhat of a pragmatist, I thought I would give it a year to see if this concept really has any merit to it.

It didn’t take a year. Within a few months I realized there was a change taking place within me. I figured if OAs were an expression of God’s grace, and made a difference in the immediate world around me, then I should practice them in every venue of life – including with my wife and in my own marriage. This was about more than evangelism…this was about how to love others. After having been married for 30 plus years, I guess one can begin to take things for granted. So, a little less than a year ago I began OAing my wife at every opportunity I saw. Little things. Thoughtful things. Placing her felt needs above my perceived priorities. I eventually began to notice subtle changes in her countenance and attitude around the house. Nothing I could put my finger on, mind you. Perhaps it was only my imagination. I really didn’t know.

Years ago we decided that unless there was something of great importance in either of our schedules, we were going to set Thursday nights apart as our ‘date night’. My schedule especially is all over the place, and we needed at least one point in the week where we could get together, sit down over a nice meal, and catch up on our lives. Last night was our date night. We took her car. I noticed that the gas gauge was nearing the critical low level (it’s a smart car and it both flashes a yellow light and dings a couple of times just to make sure you’re aware). She was a bit embarrassed and apologetic and said she planned to fill it on the way to work in the morning. After dinner I turned into the service station. “It’s cold and messy out, and I don’t want you to have one more thing to do in the morning,” I told her. “I’ll fill it up tonight and you’ll be good to go.”

“You are just so sweet,” she replied. “I just love being thought of. It’s just like being a newlywed again.”

I have been pondering those words ever since. It wasn’t my imagination after all. My wife was experiencing God’s grace in the most subtle of ways, and I was included as a beneficiary.