With Pam Hogeweide

The spiritually curious folks in the Off The Map community send each other articles they find intriguing. Recently Randy Siever, Director of Doable Evangelism, sent around a piece written by Sarah Monahan, a senior at the University of Nevada

Sarah, who is 23, hosts a weekly discussion group for insiders (Christians) and outsiders who are equally disgruntled with religion. She and her friends discuss different aspects of Christian culture and the traditions of Christendom. Sarah called her article, “Second Chance Pharisee”.

I got in touch with Sarah to get the back story on her thinking.

Sarah, first of all thanks for taking time to talk with me. What inspired you to write Second Chance Pharisee?

It seems that no matter what church you attend or which denomination you follow, there’s an underlying culture that dictates which ways of living are applicable to “good Christians” and which ways of living are applicable to the back-slidden. Unfortunately, to live as a good Christian by these terms, we often neglect God and others. I wanted to explore why that is.

Tell me more.

When I was a leader in Las Vegas there was a phase that our team went through in which several of the leaders confessed to sexual sin. They were asked to leave leadership. Meanwhile, others on the team were doing the same things, but not confessing, and being left alone. I learned from this that to be a good Christian leader, you can never be honest. It seems to me that those who do not live an ideal life (and are judged for it) may be very close to God, while those who are seemingly close to God may be vapid and empty in their souls.

Is any of your article biographical?

I’ve tried really hard not to follow these patterns. In the past I’ve made a point to live in bad neighborhoods and befriend those that others would give a sideways glance. It’s hard to avoid, though, when the language that we learn to talk about God in is not language that translates to most people. As a result, I’ve found that I either fully live the life of the Second Chance Pharisee, or I live two lives: one in which my walk with God consumes the majority of my conversation and thought life, and the other in which theology, ideas, hopes, plans, and past experiences are talked about in a dulled-down way where God is not the focus, but rather a broad spiritual journey.

What’s your history with church?

I was raised Christian. My parents were on staff with Intervarsity Christian Fellowship. It was common to hear worship in my living room. When I was in middle school and early high school I explored the Wiccan religion. When I returned to Christianity I became a leader with Young Life. When I moved to Las Vegas I became a bible study leader with Intervarsity. I quickly progressed to being in charge of the large group meeting and in charge of other leaders. I was the MC and occasionally I would speak to the group. This is where I burned out. I moved back to Reno and decided to try going to church and bible study while avoiding any sort of leadership responsibilities. I began to realize that my cynicism with church was worsening, and that it was because of the culture that I disagreed with. So I decided to try to work out my walk with God away from church and away from my cynicism. Although I still attend a women’s bible study, I haven’t attended church in nearly 6 months.

Is Second Chance Pharisee a reflection of your experience in church?

This is a reflection of the Christians in the last several churches that I attended. It would be unfair to say that any one church fits into the Second Chance Pharisee mold more than another, or that any one person does. But in sitting with church members and listening to them discuss their lives, I couldn’t help thinking, “You are worried about the wrong things.”

Have you lived in a Christian bubble? Many people who do develop a restlessness that gradually bursts their sheltered church life. What about you?

I lived in a Christian bubble for about three years. The last six months of that time, I moved to an apartment on what I call Drug Dealer Corner. Almost everyone in the units around me were either runaways or junkies or both. It was the best six months of my life because the people were so amazing. I made one of my closest friends on that corner and she came to know God. Now, when I’m drifting she pulls me back. That’s what burst my bubble.

What is your perspective on the current landscape of American Christendom?

When I was at Burning Man (an arts festival in the desert that’s typically thought of as “drugs, sex, and demons”) I realized that people desperately long for a community in which they can be themselves, without fear of judgment. In this kind of community, people naturally serve one another and the balance is a beautiful and harmonious thing. But Burning Man only lasts for one week out of the year and the people that attend spend the next 12 months anxiously awaiting the next event. American Christianity ought to offer these communities, but we don’t.

What is the one thing you hope readers will take away from reading Second Chance Pharisee?

I want people not to be afraid to voice their questions. What hypocrisy do they see? What aspects of the culture don’t make sense to them? And as a result of that, I hope that people will begin to build communities that are not only for Christians and which exist without judgment. Communities in which Christians and Non-Christians can search for God together. I think that’s what Jesus was trying to say.