By April Terry

Nearly twelve years ago, I labored in the hospital to bring a little boy child into the world. Since it was about 2:30 am, I was exhausted and slept until late into the following day. I wasn’t suddenly and completely swept by the motherly instinct for nearly a day and a half. That didn’t happen until they brought my little boy in after his circumcision. There he was this tiny child quiet and innocent with his lower lip trembling from the pain. That was the moment I first loved my little boy, and it has never faltered since then.

It was that first moment of pure love that overwhelmed my heart and brought an instant realization that someone needed me, but today, I carry another realization and that is that each day I am needed less and less by him. Each day of my life as a mother, I see another level of independence and self-sufficiency rise up in my son and I know that this is part of the cycle of life. Still, I mourn it a little everyday even as I also celebrate it.

Even in the relationship of parent and child there is a transient nature inherent within it. We move in and out of the lives of one another almost like taking a breath of fresh air into our lungs and breathing it out again. Sometimes, we try desperately to hang on to those relationships, but usually the best method is hold a relationship loosely and learn to love it while it is with us.

Often, we start out needing one another and once we have received what we need, we move onward to bring more people and more experiences into our lives. Sometimes this is an easy transition, but sometimes it is difficult because we mourn the losses no matter how they come about.

When we release the reins on our relationships, each person is able to be themselves and grow in the direction that they need to grow. Does that mean that we shouldn’t have boundaries with those we love? No, it simply means that we learn to relinquish any idea of control or ownership. We can’t own a child, a brother, a sister, a parent, or a friend. Our involvement in their lives is an honor, a prize, a fleeting moment that allows us an opportunity to make an exchange of giving and receiving love.

God says that we are created in His image, and it must surely be that we were created for relationship with one another and with Him to find a way to live symbiotically. Like breathing in and breathing out, we take in and expel a kind of love that surely must be an example of God’s kingdom here on earth.