Agnostic Faith
by Monika Luongo
I just saw your website on The Shack website. I read some of the posts and I decided to post my own thoughts.
First and foremost I am an Agnostic. I don’t believe in the church. I was brought up Catholic and take the bible with a grain of salt. I do believe in God…not the old white man figure with the white beard, but in a spiritual being. I believe in the 10 commandments, because these make sense.
My only daughter passed away seven years ago. I did not blame God, the doctors or anybody else. I did not ask why, because I figured it would be answered, “Why not?” I have a hard time explaining my life now. It has changed in ways I never imagined. Let me try to explain anyway.
My daughter was sick for a long time. I lost my job, because I needed to take care of her. I lost all my money, because some of her medications were not covered by her insurance and after she was gone, I had a hard time finding a new job. She passed away in February of 2002. I was trying to get myself together. In December of 2002 (I will never forget…it is burned into my mind) my boyfriend asked me if I would like to go to Cape Cod. We live on the south shore near Boston. He said there would be some festivities and it would be good to get out of the house. so we drove to the cape. When we arrived at the Cape Cod canal and started to cross on one of the bridges, the sun went down and it was so absolutely beautiful, it took my breath away.
I knew then, in a way I can’t really explain, that everything would be ok. I could feel the hand of God.
That month I started my life all over. I lost weight, got a new job and appreciated everything around me. This was my present from God. Oh, I talk to him all the time. I complain, I am thankful, and I get mad at him. My daughter is always with me, and so is God. I am still not going to churches, and I still do not listen to preachers or priests, and I am still an agnostic.
May 26th, 2009 · 2 Comments
Categories: DE Thoughts
April said
am May 27 2009 @ 12:43 am
Monika,
Thanks so much for your openness and transparency in the face of such a difficult time in your life. I have often felt that God meets us where we need Him. Many people like you these days are finding their inspiration outside the walls of church. To me, that doesn’t mean that He can’t be found there, but only means that for some church is neither relevant nor necessary for the growth of their relationship with God.
For me, I have lived most of my life outside the walls of church, and yet, I feel a closeness and a walk with God that is more relevant than anything else in my life. I, too, find it hard to get inside the walls after having lived outside them for so long. Instead, I find God in the give and take of everyday relationships. God’s voice is to me like a whisper in the wind, and the more I strain to hear it, the more I love what I hear.
Larry said
am May 31 2009 @ 9:26 am
Here is a great website that helps me in my journey.
http://www.lifestream.org/index.php
here is a sample of wayne Jacobsen.
So, ultimately I hope this website is about you and your journey. I hope you find confirmation here for things God has already put in your heart, even if they don’t fit into many of the religious voices and forms of our day. The life of Jesus was never meant to be a religion of rituals and rules to practice. Rather, Jesus has invited you into a transforming friendship with him that will allow you to share in his unfolding purpose in the earth even as his character and grace take shape in you.