By April Terry (http://faithwarming.blogspot.com)

My husband, son, and I went to breakfast Sunday morning and I saw one of my husband’s bosses come in.  At least, I thought it was, and so I mentioned him to my husband and after we finished, we passed right by their table.  Not wanting to be rude, my husband stopped in front of his table and said a great big, “Well, hello there!” only to find that he was staring into the face of a total stranger.  Oops…My bad…My poor husband was so surprised and embarrassed that he didn’t bother to explain to the guy, he just turned and walked away as quickly as he could.  I don’t know how long I laughed at that, but I’m still laughing.   Poor guy!  I’ve had my own share of moments when I have waved back at someone only to find that they were waving at the person standing behind me, but I am not the kind of person to get overly embarrassed. 

Society has these unwritten rules about invading people’s personal space, but the rules vary according to one’s geography.  Other countries, for instance, have different rules about how close you are allowed to stand to a person when carrying on a conversation.  I used to know a guy who leaned forward right into my face every time I had a conversation with him.  I found myself leaning backward while talking with him and it made me terribly uncomfortable around him, but it wasn’t really his fault that he didn’t know my “rules” of conversation engagement.

I’m afraid that we are making rules these days that keep us in fear of speaking to people we don’t know.  We fear the unknown and it keeps us from increasing our circle of friends.  Sometimes, I practice engaging people just for the sake of doing it–just to see if I can. 

I’m just nutty enough to sit here and think about Jesus sitting at a table in a restaurant when a guy comes up and mistakenly says, “Well, hello there!”  What would he do?  I imagine him taking the man by the hand and warmly greeting him right back.   Even more interesting, what if Jesus were to walk up and give the greeting?  Would he be embarrassed and walk away or would he instead just wait for the man to greet him right back?  From what I’ve read, I don’t think Jesus much cared about things like embarrassment. 

I’m all about breaking down the rules of engagement and just moving past the fear and the distrust that we have built into our lives.  Does it set us up for some risk?  Sure, but you know the saying, “Nothing ventured.  Nothing gained.”  Not a single new friend that I’ve made was someone I knew all about beforehand.  New friendships don’t come with a dossier. 

So, now, sitting here I am thinking about the ways that I can break the rules of engagement.  Could I start up a conversation in the line at the grocery store?  Could I talk to someone at a restaurant that I’ve never met?  Could I sit out on my front lawn once in a while and watch the folks in my neighborhood wander by while they walk their dogs?  There are as many ways as there are places that I go, but I have to set my mind against thoughts that tell me that people don’t want to know who I am.  I have to assume that they do want to know me, and that I am worth being known.  That means that I have some work to do on myself first.  I have to like myself enough to laugh at myself and not be embarrassed if I make a misstep. 

The rules of engagement only stay in place if we allow them to.  We can choose to live another way, and I think we should because the world is filled with some beautiful people that I have yet to know.