By April Terry (personal blog http://faithwarming.blogspot.com)

We spent Sunday evening at a lovely dinner party at a friend’s home.  At this dinner party was a married couple and they were both deaf.  They had both learned to sight read to a certain extent, but their disabilities still affect the way they approach a social situation.  Imagine a dinner party of eight fast talking adults, all with different speeds of speaking, and then add to it a hearing disability and imagine trying to keep up with the conversation.  I could really feel for the couple.  We spent a good share of time making conversation with them, and it was pretty amazing how they managed to handle themselves in a social situation.  The temptation would definitely be to not go into a social situation at all, but it took a great deal of courage for them to forge forward and I salute them for it.

One of the people at the party, a single father, made no effort to converse with them in any way.  Perhaps he felt uncomfortable, but he made no effort.  The wife of this couple, who sight reads very well, made great efforts to interpret for her husband.  Still, I think that both he and his wife felt the most comfortable with my husband and I.  Mostly because I think we were patient.  We have learned how to listen better, communicate better, and how to wait for someone to expresss themselves through our ministry to seniors since so many of our seniors are impaired with various ailments. 

It takes a certain amount of effort to really see those who are disabled.  A veil of invisibility seems to cloak the disabled like a cloud of fog, but when you really start to see people you begin to notice that they are present, thinking, and understanding.  They may not understand as much as you do, but they understand enough and they respond to people who make an effort to listen and to wait for them to express themselves.  I read a comment once by a person confined to a wheelchair who said that they were often treated as if they were invisible and that people rarely smiled at them or spoke to them.  I have often thought about that and have always made efforts to notice those who are disabled or in a wheelchair.  In noticing, I am available to them and being available means that they have my attention.

Several of our seniors in our ministry this Sunday asked us for assistance.  One woman wanted to know where she could find the verse that my husband had quoted in his message.  I had to wait a good two minutes for her to get that simple request out, but it was worth it.  I was able to give her what she wanted in the end.   Some things are worth waiting for.

When you get to know people who have disabilities, you begin to realize that they react to people just like you and I do.  They react to their environment, but they have obstacles to overcome in order to express themselves or in order to process information that we take for granted.  They manage quite well, but many times I am sure that it is embarrassing for them when they are not understood and when they do not understand.

Maybe we are the ones who are impaired because we haven’t had to make adjustments.  We wander through life and hang out with the people who make us comfortable without giving a second thought to the ones who have to work harder than we do just to go to dinner with eight so-called normal people.  Maybe we’re impaired because we can’t see through the veil of invisibility that we have placed in front of them.   Maybe we’re impaired because we’ve forgotten how to listen and notice enough to learn about those who are different from us.