by April Terry (personal blog http://faithwarming.blogspot.com)

I like to watch spy shows.  I especially love the ones where there is a puzzle that must be figured out in order for the world to be set right.  At some level, everyone’s story is like a puzzle that, when deconstructed, often signals their reasons for being where they are and who they are.  Listening to someone tell their story is often the open portal to a new adventure in relationship, both exciting and intriguing.  For that reason, I guess I am a little like a spy, but in a good way.  I can’t wait to get to the inner you.

Not everyone is like that, I realize.  Most folks don’t delve into relationships with the comfort and ease that I might, but I think that anyone could be better at building and nurturing relationships if they approached them like a spy would.  For instance, spies have to be good listeners.  They have to listen carefully and take notice of the details that someone might share about themselves whether consciously or unconsciously.  These details are the clues to the character of a person, whether they are lying or telling the truth, happy, sad, confident, or nervous. 

Of course, a lot of people think that Christians are spies in a bad way.  That idea probably stems from all the times that people have been befriended only to find out that it was a subversive effort to get them to church.  I wouldn’t like that, either.   Besides, there is more to someone’s spirituality than what goes on Sunday morning.  Spirituality has to do with how we live the rest of the week as well and if it’s out that you are a Christian, it may be that others approach you as if you are an alien.  On the other hand, it may mean that you are the “go-to” person when the going gets tough.  It’s often when things are going wrong that people start looking for the spiritual person.

I think that a lot of our relationship has to do with how we view ourselves.  If we are comfortable in our own skin, in our own faith, it can be very magnetic to others.  On the other hand, if our relationships are strained because we are forcing our faith on others, nothing we do will seem genuine.  We will be like a spy who isn’t good at his job.   Faith is something we do, not something we impose on other people.  God is the one calling others to Himself and He doesn’t necessarily need us.  We are sometimes just one of the tools in His toolbox.

 I’ve listened to a lot of stories from those who cross my path, but I don’t try to apply my own rules or labels to someone else’s story.  Your story is your story.  My story is mine.   I wouldn’t try to filter, change, or ignore who you are, but I would share my story with you and let you share your story as well.  That’s the give and take of relationship, but I warn you, I am going to be trying out my spy skills on you so there’s a good chance that I might be listening, observing, and infiltrating our relationship, but in a good way, always in a good way.