By April Terry (personal blog http://faithwarming.blogspot.com)

Throughout my life, I’ve witnessed a lot of ways that love is defined. In the movie, “Love Story,” Ali McGraw said that, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Later, we would have a whole line of T-shirts that said, “Love is…Insert an inspirational idea here” along with a picture of two naked children. Then, like the song, we were introduced to ”The Greatest Love of All” which is learning to love ourselves. Every Valentine’s Day, we are especially thoughtful of what love is and also what it isn’t. We send flowers, cards, hearts, and chocolates to show love. Of course, as a Christian, I would be remiss if I didn’t insert, probably rather clumsily, the “Love is Patient, Love is Kind” verses in 1 Corinthians that have impacted me so much as well.

I was wondering today whether we consider freedom when we dialogue about love. I think that when we give someone else the freedom to chase their faith or follow their dreams, love is expressed in a most generous way. Yet, there’s something built into the nature of all us that seeks to hold onto that which makes us comfortable, and doing that is often exactly what makes someone else uncomfortable. As all of these definitions of love tumble through my head, I am inspired by the one thing that I know about Christ-like love. It is inherently free, it is ours to choose or reject, and it is flexible. That’s right, love is flexible and some don’t like a flexible kind of love. They want to define it, build walls around it, and keep it caged in, but love doesn’t flourish when it’s caged. Love is best expressed when it is freely given without expectation or conditions.

I have seen some of the ways that we Christians try to control the bounds of love. We want to invite people to church, but don’t necessarily want to take the time to get to know them. We want to “hate the sin, and love the sinner,” but the two are not so easily separated from one another. We want to “stand on the truth,” when what we mean is “our truth.” We call out heresy when someone tries to deviate from our norm, and we limit others who look, act, or think differently than we think they should. Why?–Maybe because we are afraid of change.

Change is about the only thing that we can depend on in this roller coaster life, and yet, we are terrified of it. We want to wage war against change by putting a label on an abstract concept like love. We point to love, define it, name it, and put it on a card to send it to someone, but love changes, and who we love changes, and how we love changes. Then, just when we think we have it figured out, our life changes and we are forced to learn yet another way to love.

The bottom line is that love is hard and it’s a moving target. It’s sitting near the bedside of a dying loved one. It’s continuing to find a way to love someone who is lost to their addiction. It’s trying to reopen your heart after it’s been ripped to pieces. It’s watching your child leave you to find his/her own life or learning to love an aging parent who has become a child again. It’s reaching toward love with the people who are the hardest to love. It’s being loyal, being tough, learning to trust, being sorry, and yes, being flexible.  Love is multi-dimensional and was invented by a God flexible enough to let us have the freedom to seek it out in Him and in the world.  Yet, when we do, it is more rewarding when it’s struggled for and when it’s been liberated from the constraints that we want to place upon it.  Love grows better when placed in the light of fearless and faithful caregivers who offer just the right amount of living water.