“Being nice to people doesn’t get them saved. You need to present them with the bad news about their sin, tell them about Jesus and the cross, and bring them to a point of decision.That’s what Jesus called us to do, and anything short of that is just a cop out.”

I knew my fellow evangelist meant well, and I understood perfectly what she was saying in her critique of my Doable Evangelism presentation. I would have argued the same points myself just a few years ago.

“Pre-evangelism” is an insider term, used mostly by evangelists like me in recent decades to describe any effort to find an “opening” for the verbal presentation of the Gospel. This would include the building of relationships with people you don’t know, praying for the lost, various random, but strategic, acts of kindness, etc. These don’t qualify as evangelism. They just set you up for it.

Real evangelism requires the pitch, much like my evangelist friend described above. Some sow, some water, some reap. It’s all good…but everyone knows that it’s the reapers who are doing the real evangelism. Those who sow and water are just helping them get the job done.

This modern evangelism paradigm is supported by a few lines from the verbal Apostle Paul: “…how can they hear about him unless someone tells them?” (Rom. 10:14b). And, “Faith comes from hearing, that is, hearing the Good News about Christ.” (Rom. 10:17). We have concluded from this that evangelism is primarily about telling, and without speaking the Gospel there is no conversion…right?

Maybe not. Follow me down a stretch of the “Romans Road” that I didn’t pay much attention to in the past.

Romans 10, verse 18: “But I ask, have the people of Israel actually heard the message? Yes they have: ‘The message has gone throughout the earth, and the words to all the world.’”

This Gospel we are so convinced we need to propositionally package and persuasively proclaim to every nation (which is how most of us have been taught to read and interpret Matt. 28:18-20) HAS ALREADY BEEN PROCLAIMED… EVERYWHERE. It is also worth noting that creation itself has been “proclaiming” to all mankind from the very beginning (see Rom. 1:16-20). This implies a compelling non-verbal proclamation.

Verbal proclamation is clearly one way the Good News gets spread about. It’s just not the ONLY way. It may not even be the most important way. Proclamation can be non-verbal, expressed in a variety of ways, like beauty, goodness, kindness and service to others. This is great news for the majority of Jesus followers who feel verbally handicapped when it comes to presentations. We all get to participate in proclamation… even those who cannot speak well (or at all).

Evangelism is the whole process by which people who are missing get found. It includes everything and anything that nudges someone in the direction of Jesus. It does include verbal proclamation, but also such small and invisible things as noticing someone, praying for people behind their backs, and listening to them. These things, which are simple and doable ways of paying attention to others, are like a cold cup of water in our culture (Matt. 10:42). They are not just some “pre-evangelism” tactic used to get to the real business of evangelism. They ARE evangelism. And ANYONE can do this.

Maybe that’s why it’s the FEET of the one who brings Good News that are so beautiful…rather than the mouth. (Rom. 10:15)

One more thing. Jesus asked us to “make disciples” rather than to simply “make converts” (Matt. 28:18-20). He wants us to honor and participate in the longer and richer process of disciple-making, rather than just a single moment of it. Conversion is not the ultimate purpose of evangelism, as we have been led to believe. Making disciples is.

Our modern conversion-centric paradigm of evangelism assumed that the “moment in time decision for Christ,” was the primary form of conversion by which people came to faith. Statistics have shown otherwise. A recent survey by Vision New England (2007) indicates that only about 14% of those who came to faith did so in this way. The rest of those interviewed (86%) said it took months and even years to “cross the line of faith.” Earlier surveys done in Scotland and England had nearly identical findings.

This hyper-conversionistic, presentational paradigm of evangelism has shaped our entire evangelistic methodology over the past 150 years or so, and has birthed the categorical (and somewhat patronizing) myth of pre-evangelism. It does not, however, align with the reality of how people typically come to faith, nor the larger Biblical view of proclamation. It’s time to grasp a new paradigm that is more respectful of the scriptures and reflective of reality, don’t you think?

The pre-evangelism myth is BUSTED. Let’s go make disciples!

In preparation for each Off the Map event, we ask some of our local OTM colleagues to find three lost people for us to interview. The always proves to be an interesting experience for both parties. Israel Askew was our designated lost-person locater guy in Portland. Since we don’t have a manual on “how to find a lost person,” each searcher makes up his own strategy. Israel chose to simply walk around the campus of Portland State University and approach anyone who appeared to look lost. One of the people he managed to talk into getting on stage with us was Hannah Delane a student at PSU. We asked her to tell us what it was like to be one of our “3 lost college students” in Portland at Off The Map.

I must have been daydreaming instead of studying right before midterms last spring, because I got caught. The next thing I knew, I was talking to a newfound friend about my beliefs in God. I remember that the sun was shining and I had lots on my mind, but I was feeling generous with my time that day and didn’t jump when Israel Askew asked me if I considered myself to be a Christian.

Before long, I was posing questions to Israel. He seemed decent and I felt challenged. Together we agreed that I would become one of the lost people of Portland.

I met with Israel and Jim a little while later, and it turned out that Jim was ok too. I got to talk about myself and my views with two men I hardly knew who respected, listened and commented on what I had to share–even though I am sure they didn’t agree with me on almost everything I had to say.

It was an easy, natural and perhaps inevitable next step for me to agree to be interviewed, on a stage, at a church, in front of a whole lot of people I didn’t know.

I didn’t talk with my friends about this decision much but my mom and my boyfriend cautioned me to think about whom I might be dealing with. Trying to explain a positive gut feeling to someone who wasn’t there is always hard so I remained pretty private.

Eventually after meeting with Jim and Israel a second time, I discussed my decision to be on Off The Map’s “lost persons panel” with my mother in greater detail which opened up a wonderful dialogue between us that had not previously existed before.

I had been raised in a Vineyard Church, and was what I would now call a jubilant Christian. I went through a spiritual self-evaluation early in my adolescence which my family and I didn’t talk much about it.

My developing philosophies were my own, and they were accepted. But what was exciting about the new dialogue with my mother was that I found out that she agreed with me more than less. She remains a devout Christian, but maybe what you would call a private follower.

My boyfriend was excited about the opportunity, and was also excited to attend a Christian church for the first time, as he has been a Muslim for his whole life. His impressions were generally positive, though he felt that a lot of people could not shift their myopic focus to a more holistic (or philosophical one). This conclusion was drawn from listening to the questions they posed to those if us on the panel. However, he was impressed by the event itself, and the general kindness of the people he met.

So, that’s my story of how I became a lost person in Portland, and a very happy one, I might add, who is glad to have had the chance to interact in such a way with the Israel, Jim, the Off The Map attendees, and with my mother.

“I’m a shepherd in the church.” “I am a minister on the church staff.” “I’ve been the involvement minister at the church for a few years now.” “He left the church.” “I gave money to the church.” We do “church work.” Sound familiar?

For years I parroted the traditional institutional jargon about “the church.” It sounded pretty convincing, but the more I studied and reflected upon scripture and our institutional concept the more I realized that I had a bad case of building-centric Christianity.

What Counts Anyway?
When I hear someone say twenty percent of all the people do eighty percent of the work, I want to ask them for clarification. Do we really believe God gets his statistics from activities and ministries conducted under the auspices of the church? Is that what counts? What about those of us who are exploring the spiritual beyond the walls of the “church?”

When I hear someone say, “We will meet at the building to hang flyers in the neighborhood this afternoon,” I want to say, “Why not just be ordinary 24/7 and patiently nudge people toward Christ by exploring the spiritual with those you know, work and play with?” In this new millennium, the cold door knock and impersonal flyer hanging offends people.

Church Promoters or Christ Connectors
I use to talk about taking “the church” to areas where no one had ever heard of “the church.” I told people about “my church” in an effort to get them to “come-to-church” so they would be faithful to the “church.” There are some members of “the church” who have never thought of, much less understood, themselves as “spiritual explorers partnering with Christ.”

But little by little, the Lord is breaking down the bondage of institutional Christianity and replacing it with a relational Christianity. I must admit that He’s not moving as fast as I would like, but I know that He knows better than Fred knows.

Our Ecclesiolatry is Showing
Our phrases tell on us.

1. We don’t love Christ; we love the church.
2. We don’t partner with Jesus in an effort beyond-the-church; we work for the church.
3. We don’t tell people about the crucified and risen Lord; we tell them about the church.

The truth is, we have not genuinely cared about the people Jesus misses most.

If we counted the hours we’ve given to “church work” verses time spent genuinely caring for those Jesus misses the most, we’d soon discover that more emphasis and time is spent crafting our Sunday morning assemblies than in connecting with a missing person.

We need more Fed Ex and less Club Med in our thinking when it comes to being the church.

By Pam Hogeweide

[photopress:emptychurch.jpg,thumb,alignright]Pam is a reluctant contributor to Off The Map. She isn’t completely sure about us and recently even unsubscribed, so if you’re a friend of Pam’s you might forward this to her so she can get a chance to see her article in print. Pam is a veteran follower of Jesus with a spirituality that reaches beyond church and organized religion. She is an articulate writer and an insightful observer of people who are struggling to make sense out of life and God.

At my homegroup recently I listened as one by one, each person told about his or her dissatisfaction with church, or rather, “doing church”. Without any prompting from our leader, this spontaneous time of sharing brought out into the open thoughts and feelings of discontentment in the body of Christ.

One person said, “I’ve been feeling really empty at church lately. What is it?” Her question floated around the room provoking others to attempt to identify what it was. Someone wondered if it was the structure of the Sunday service, “We go to church, we sit in a pew, and we listen to a message and then go home.” Someone else thought it was about all the programs that church has become so good at putting together. “I don’t want programs,” she said, “I want hospitality.”

As our homegroup wrestled with the what-is-it-question, our leader, who is an associate pastor at our church, listened intently, nodding his head from time to time. By the end of the evening, he told us, “The only reason I’ve been able to survive is because of the one on one.”

The discussion we had at my homegroup was not a gripe session about the particular church we attend. We, like many others, were giving voice to the disillusionment we find ourselves in as the collective body of Christ. This is like an awakening, of sorts, of people who are rousing themselves up out of pews all over the country and are declaring, “I can’t play church anymore.”

For me, my own angst with the state of the church snuck up on me, like a weird twist in a movie I didn’t expect. I was caught off guard by an indefinable sense of “all is not well”. Things began to come into focus, though, when I pulled out of all the church activities I’d been involved with. Suddenly, I was looking at church and myself from the outside in. I was startled to discover that the center of my life had been church and ministry instead of Jesus. My relationship with Him and with others had become systemized, based on programs and church-navigated activities. In short, (I had become in bondage to – awkward) the religious culture of church. Apparently, I’m not the only one.

A blogger I know here in the Pacific Northwest related to me her sense of discontentment with church. She expressed her desire for close relationships with others, to be real and that this is her hope for church, “not a place to sit and stare at the back of a stranger’s head for an hour and go home.” Like me, she’s become disenchanted with the way we do church.

I have a new friend in cyberspace who goes by the online name of Emerging Grace. EG and her husband served for years as leaders in their local church, then unexpectedly found themselves out on the curb looking in. She writes, “It wasn’t until being removed from that environment that my overall disillusionment with the American church culture began.” She says what I’m hearing many others say, “that church needs to be about what happens in our everyday lives rather than what happens on Sunday.”

There is a growing awareness that church is not about a place or a building. The perception of many believers I’ve talked with is that American Christians have mastered going to church rather than being the church. One blog I sometimes check out is hosted by a guy who grew up in a very large church. He watched his church begin operating more like a business rather than a church. He says, “It seems that many of them (churches) are pushing the American dream over the love of Jesus.” A good friend of mine, who is a Quaker youth pastor, agrees and says, “I’m disillusioned with American culture and a lot of that is in the church.”

Many discussions about the life of the church today lead back to the “C” word – culture. One friend of mine thinks that the church has become irrelevant to the culture. There are discussions and books and blogs galore that agree with her and are analyzing post-modernism and how the church can keep up with the evolving culture of society.

A friend in the blogosphere says, “There’s a bit of a trend to make church look less churchish.” She’s right; many churches are employing innovative approaches to identify with the culture we find ourselves in. I’m not a scholar, but I agree with my friend, Tracey, who says, “The only culture in a church should be the culture of Jesus”. I wonder how that would look?

This reminds me of the story about the religious leader who asked Jesus what was the greatest commandment. Jesus told him it was to Love God with everything you’ve got and to also love others (Matthew 22:36-39). Christ summed up all the mystery of religious philosophy and kingdom culture with the simple message of Love God and each another. And that is what I hear in the words of so many disillusioned Christians around me – a hunger for Jesus and community.

A woman in her sixties who has been a faithful churchgoer for years says it well, “I have no deep thoughts, or big words, but I know I do have a hunger for more of Him, that intimate relationship we all are seeking.”

My friend Suzanne came over for dinner a couple of weeks ago. We talked for hours about all these things. We didn’t figure out how to solve the woes of the modern American church in all her weaknesses, but in an email a few weeks later she told me she’s decided, “to move forward in being what I want to see…”

Maybe that’s the answer to the What-is-it-question my homegroup grappled with. Perhaps “it” is time to stop doing church and instead be the church.

[photopress:bob_bowen_bw.jpg,thumb,alignleft]Ten weeks ago Pam Hogeweide wrote Off The Map to protest her perception of the costs and self-promoting associated with the Generous Orthodoxy conferences. She unsubscribed from our monthly newsletter. I engaged in a dialog with Pam and as a result, she agreed to be our guest at the Seattle Generous Orthodoxy Event. She agreed to come to the conference with an open mind and I agreed to keep Off The Map’s promise that we are not like any other conference that she would attend. Pam attended the Seattle Generous Orthodoxy conference and I followed up with her this week about her thoughts regarding the conference and if she would consider re-subscribing. BTW – Although Pam may not read the Idealab she has been willing to write several articles for us. The most recent article “Why does church feel so empty” has been our all time most discussed piece.

Pam, based on everything we talked about leading up to the event, what were your expectations heading into the event?

Let me start off by saying thank you again for having me as your guest. I was a bit nervous about how you guys at Off the Map would receive me. When I first got there I kind of hid my nametag as I scouted the place out. I wasn’t sure what to expect. But I felt relaxed very quickly and soon stopped hiding my nametag.

I didn’t have a lot of expectations for the conference itself. I tried not to anticipate anything, but to keep an open mind.

I did, however, expect a lot of sales pitches to buy books and self-promoting to go on. I don’t go to conferences very often, but honestly that’s what I’ve usually experienced. But that didn’t happen at the G.O. conference. Instead, OTM folks were giving reviews of different books that they had read, not written – and I am not even sure if those particular books were even for sale at the conference – but it wasn’t self-promoting or even salesmanship. Even Brian McLaren didn’t promote his book, A Genereous Orthodoxy, which I thought for sure he would, since his book was the conference’s namesake.

I was also expecting a love offering. I haven’t gone to many conferences, but there is always, always at least one offering. I have to say that was refreshing to have this missing from the G.O. conference: especially since I thought the ticket price was too high. I’m glad this expectation was not realized.

I did expect to be challenged about what it means to follow Christ and I was. This was good – I like to be challenged.

What were your initial impressions as the event kicked off?
Deborah Loyd was the first speaker. As she told her story she used some four-letter words. I have been a Christian for a long time and I have never heard someone use the real language of real life, like swearing, when talking about their relationship with Jesus from the platform. I fell in love with her straight away. Just the week before, my husband had said, “I wish we could find a church where you can say f**k.” So this got my attention. Not because I get my thrills from four-letter words, but rather it demonstrated an atmosphere of freedom. Some might be offended by swearing, but for me, I could relate to it. Sometimes I cuss when I tell my stories, too.

Besides Deborah and her husband Ken cussing, I also noticed right away all the techno stuff going on, the laptops and wi-fi and so on. That was cool. I wished I had wi-fi so I could have I.M’ed. Jim a corny joke while he was on stage doing his thing with his laptop.

I have to say, I realized quickly that you guys kept your sessions fairly short. The speakers didn’t ramble on since they had only a little time to make their point. They each did that very well, particularly Brian McLaren. He said so much in such a concise way. Everything kept moving along. I liked the quick pace of the sessions. It kept my mind focused. I guess I’m part of the Short-Attention Span Generation.

Were your expectations met, missed, exceeded?
You know, I really wasn’t sure what to expect, but I have to say that the casual atmosphere was very disarming. The interaction of the audience with the speakers was great. I think this helped to create a kind of intimacy in the sessions, not deep or anything, of course, but it shortened the distance of the person on the platform talking to me who was sitting in the audience. I liked that a lot. It had that whole living room-café feeling going on.

The variety of live music was a great treat as well. Instead of one worship ensemble there were three different kinds of bands, each with a distinctive, amazing sound. I loved them all.

I noticed that there was a wide range of topics in the workshops, like sessions on Christians and environmentalism, or U2’s theology (I didn’t even know they had one) and Joe Myers’ session on Organic Community about small groups and why they don’t work. His workshop alone was worth the three hour drive from Portland – that and also hearing Deborah cuss from the platform!

I want to also say that the Gay Forum completely engaged my attention. I thought it was going to be some kind of free-for-all pseudo debate disguised as an interactive dialogue between speakers and the audience. Instead, I listened to two young, gay men tell about their lives with humbling transparency. When one of them was asked what message would he give Christians about what it is to be gay his answer was, “Just listen.” So simple and heartfelt (fragment). I also resonated very much with Jason (the Christian, straight guy who also was on the Gay Forum) when he said, “I really want to honor gay people.” I wrote that down in my Off the Map Official Blank Book I was given at registration. This affirmed my belief that I want to accept and love gay people and trust God to work out the details of their sexuality when they come to Christ. I’m so glad people didn’t try to sort out my sex life when I was in the process of coming to Christ.

What was the one “big idea” that you took away from the event?
Well, really, it’s the vision of Off the Map that solidified inside of me more. The idea that we can share the love of Jesus with others in our everyday lives in all kinds of ordinary ways. I think Jim called it “Seinfeld Evangelism”. Also, what Dave talked about, the vision for otherliness, what he defined as “practicing the art of being unusually interested in others”(fragment). I thought about this just today when I was at Powell’s bookstore in downtown Portland, one of my favorite places to go. As I left the store, I got in a conversation with a man about his dog, both who had parked themselves outside Powell’s front door on the sidewalk. He just started talking to me about his dog and how the companionship of this pet literally changed his life. As he spoke, I realized that his dog had been a gift from God to him. When I told him, “God must love you a whole lot to give you such a special dog”, his whole face lit up. For the next several minutes he described his thankfulness to God and how he prays everyday, grateful that he is living sober and clean, all because of a dog. We didn’t have a very long conversation. I didn’t quote any scriptures to him or even invite him to church. As I said good-bye to him, after shaking his hand and finding out his name (which is Gordon), I walked away thinking about Off the Map’s vision of helping people like me discover the love of Jesus in otherliness, not to miss it or despise it. I’ve done that a lot, for years, despised my weak attempts at communicating who God is with others. The Big Idea that I took away from this conference is to not despise the simple acts of kindness I can show others, but to instead discover Jesus in them. Jim said at his “Doable Evangelism” workshop that we need to learn how to measure our evangelism differently. This is a liberating concept for me.

Did anything make you laugh?
Yes, Jim Henderson made me laugh. A lot. A whole lot. He is hilarious, especially when he is trying to pronounce my last name.

Did anything that was said make you scratch your head and go “hmmm”??

I don’t remember anything being said that stumped me. Yet I have to say I was puzzled that there wasn’t very much time given to worship. David Ruis was such a powerhouse of a worship musician and only two songs in his set? Huh? Also the other groups, Harp 46 and Restoration Project, their music was so inspiring. I wanted to worship longer. I know the sessions were packed out and it was fast-paced. Still, I longed for more time to worship God.

Did anything that was presented help you with your disillusionment of the church?
Yes, that I am not the only one who does not function well in the typical home-group. Joe’s session on Organic Community was comforting and validating. My husband and I have gone through four small groups in the past 3 years. This is unprecedented in our marriage of 17 years and I have wondered what is wrong with us. How come we are not connecting to others in the home-groups we have attended? Isn’t that the answer to friendship and fellowship when you attend a large church like we do? I honestly have thought, “It’s just us. We must be too picky.” Listening to Joe’s analogy of painted number sets versus creative artistic expressions as a metaphor about programs and relationships gave me some light on why my husband and I are at odds with the whole home-group scene. We’re not so screwed up after all. This doesn’t necessarily solve my disillusionment, but it certainly was somewhat of a relief.

Will you be re-subscribing to Idealab?
Um, well, I guess I should, so at least I can read my own articles and interviews!

Other thoughts?
You know, I’ve had lots of conversations over the past few months about the whole Christian conference scene. I know it costs money to put these things on. I am probably naïve about the financial effort required to pull a conference off. I don’t go to conferences very often, because of the cost as well as the time. In my idealism, though, I hope for more otherliness to be demonstrated to a wider range of people who want to come to these gatherings. I experienced that and I’m grateful for it, but how many more could have come, or would have come, if they had had the means? I wonder how we as Christ followers can creatively slim down the gap between the haves and the have-nots when it comes to triple digit conference fees.

I have been provoked by this experience with the G.O. conference. I am provoked to go further and deeper in my friendship with God. I have been provoked to keep breaking free from the religious and social traditions that inhibit me from sharing Jesus’ love with others, whether their gay or straight.

And I’m provoked to come back next year, and bring my husband and maybe a friend or two, if I can figure out some creative otherliness with the ticket prices and overall costs.

[photopress:Lisa_Wellington.jpg,thumb,alignright]Lisa is an ordinary artist, entrepreneur, writer, traveler and recovering Class Clown who revels in all things creative. Currently, she is embedded as an Investigative Assistant in a local law enforcement agency where she awaits the release of the book she threatens to write. Raised in all ways Catholic, she now and for the duration finds solace and joy at Vineyard Community Church. She is a “single mother from the beginning” of her only child, Rebecca. Life is richer and sweeter because of her. Their hometown is Edmonds, Washington. You can reach her at here. Beginning next month Lisa will be the Editor of our new Doable Spirituality Blog. This article will give you a small taste of what to expect.

I had hoped to avoid this class but realized I was out of viable excuses. I laid down my mat next to my daughter’s and prepared myself for an hour of ‘gentle yoga’. Our instructor, a lean, petite Asian woman with the sweetest presence, guided us with closed eyes in a cross-legged seated position.

“Quiet your mind and gently breathe.” She said in a soothing voice “Think about your intention for tonight’s session. What would you like to focus on?” I thought for a moment and decided I wanted to just be open and listen to God, be aware of my body, and not to fall over or fart. To help me feel connected to God I imagined Jesus on a mat to the left of me, my daughter to the right. I prayed none of us would embarrass ourselves too much.

As I moved from one position to another, I began to remember my years of classical dance training. It had been years since I took a ballet class but something similar resonated here. Dance is always about opening up the body. Our strong and lithe instructor reminded us to pull our shoulders back, open the ribcage, lengthen the spine; always lengthen the spine. It felt good and my body remembered.

I centered myself and struggled to find balance. I wondered where in my life I needed more balance. When an arm felt pinched, I prayed that I am not inadvertently pinching the feelings of someone I care for. And when I needed to open my chest more and breathe I asked myself where it is that I’m not opening my heart enough and showing more compassion to myself and others. Breathe in God, breath out tension.

In the way that a good massage can hurt before it feels better, these positions pushed me to my limits. Not my daughter, however. No, she was now in the “advanced students” version of a position I can’t pronounce. I shall call it “Twisted Fig Tree”. You get the picture. I looked on with amazement and a hint of melancholy as my eyes traced her macraméd limbs. She studied her bangs in the mirror unimpressed by her crowning achievement. While she was given a body with the flexibility of a licorice whip, I felt like a stiff stick of gum left in its wrapper too long.

As I struck the next pose, I wondered about Jesus and his mysterious years traveling. I don’t know why I was thinking this but it was part of my session’s ‘intention’ so I went with it. I was curious if he practiced these meditative positions to relieve lower back pain or maybe sense God more vividly. I wished he had left a fabulous leather-bound journal in an ancient pot somewhere with copious notes about favorite baristas he encountered during his adventure; or a memorable café that served perfectly curried chicken; or who he taught, who he learned from, or perhaps, how he managed to hold this crazy position without passing out.

“Jesus! My hamstrings are killing me! Can you feel that too?” I screamed silently. Jesus seemed to ignore me as he gracefully struck the inverted V “downward dog” position, his feet and hands planted firmly on the floor. “Just breathe and center yourself and don’t bug me right now,” he said. “I’m trying to stretch-out here.” I love my imagineerings of Jesus.

Our last few minutes were spent in the splendor of total relaxation. We stretched out our bodies on the floor, arms overhead; body, mind, and spirit rejuvenated, unscathed by any embarrassing moments. The instructor cooed, “…and now in a seated cross-legged position with your hands palm-up on top of your knees breathe quietly in and exhale. Slowly open your eyes and…release.

By Doreen Mannion

[photopress:doreen_mannion.jpg,thumb,alignleft]Doreen lives in the Washington DC area and first ran into Brian McLaren when he appeared on the Larry King Show last year. She made her way to his church and found an accepting and loving community of people. She graciously agreed to be one of our panelists on the Gay Forum at the Generous Orthodoxy Conference last October. Doreen wrote a paper about her experience for a seminary assignment. Here are some of her reflections from that paper.

Perception is Reality
“McLaren related a market study of 16 to 29 year olds where Christianity was surveyed much like a brand (i.e., how do you feel about Crest toothpaste). Of the top 12 impressions, 9 were negative, 2 were neutral, and 1 was positive. The number one negative impression, held by 91 percent of those surveyed, was that Christians are anti-homosexual. As McLaren stated, regardless of what you believe about homosexual behavior, “if the number one message of Jesus Christ were to be presented, that’s probably not it. So, when you communicate that as your message, I am sure that is not generous.”

The second highest held impression was that Christians are judgmental. “So,” said McLaren, “a religion who follows the guy who says ‘thou shall not judge’ is known as the organization that judges, or maybe ‘thou shall not judge me but I shall judge thee’.” The third highest held impression was that Christians are hypocritical. The only positive impression was that Christians are friendlier than other types of believers.

The scary part, and the part that kept me away from Christianity so long, is that “for every Christian in the United States today, when you say the word Jesus, people don’t hear Jesus, they hear these other attitudes.” What’s the solution? How do we reclaim a generous orthodoxy?

You Say You’re Not A Christian
“You say you’re not a Christian but you talk like a Christian and you act like a Christian and you treat others the way Christians should.” I explained that through getting clean and sober through Alcoholics Anonymous in 1988, I had developed an understanding, acceptance, and feeling of a higher power. Further, through a series of otherwise unexplainable events, I came to understand, accept, and feel a Holy Spirit. But, I explained, I just could not feel Jesus. I understood the concept historically and Biblically, but could neither feel Him nor force myself to feel Him, no matter how hard I tried.

I cannot explain what happened next except to say that I fell on my knees and sobbed uncontrollably as my CD group “prayed me to Jesus.”

I likened it to what like Symeon wrote in The Discourses 1:

“I was so greatly moved to tears and loving desire for God that I would be unable to describe in words the joy and delight I then felt. I fell prostrate on the ground, and at once I saw. . . . a great light was . . . . shining on me and seized hold of my whole mind and soul, so that I was struck with amazement at the unexpected marvel and I was, as it were, in ecstasy.
“There was poured into my soul in unutterable fashion a great spiritual joy and perception and a sweetness surpassing every taste of visible objects, together with a freedom and forgetfulness of all thoughts pertaining to this life.”

This is the context for my attendance at the Generous Orthodoxy Conference.

A Quick Prayer and Off We Go
After arriving at the conference, I met Jim Henderson from Off The Map. He collected the other panelists and off we went to a quiet room to talk about the dialogue. Jim said he and Brian were talking about asking the audience to come up after the dialogue and perhaps apologize to us if they felt so moved. Jim wanted to make sure we were all comfortable with this. I felt a little bit weird about it, but offered up a quick prayer and decided whether it turned out to be a positive or negative experience for me, it would definitely be a new experience.

The sanctuary was packed for the dialog. Jim introduced the session by playing Ray Charles’ “God Bless America” and basically asking everyone to pledge to be on their best behavior. He asked the audience to welcome the panelists, and off we went to sit on the stools on stage.

As it happened, I was closest to Brian. To my immediate left was a lesbian Episcopalian priest, then a gay teacher, then a straight Baptist elder who had befriended a gay college student and had an important story to share about that experience.

The Rules of Engagement
Brian reminded everyone to just listen and realize no one was going to change his or her mind on the subject based on this panel. “Let’s just assume if people are wrong, you’re probably not going to fix them tonight.” He asked us all to take about 5 minutes or so and introduce ourselves. I was stressed in the days leading up to the conference, wondering what to say about myself and what to expect from this experience. I’ve learned how to speak in front of groups professionally, but am really an introvert. By the time the panel started, I was no longer stressed. I realized God put me where I was that night. When I looked out into the full pews and realized these were people who were there because they wanted to be. These were people who wanted to hear my story. These were people who had accepted Jim and Brian’s challenge to “just listen.”

Of course God was with me, so my story just flowed. I told of how I used to sing “Jesus loves me” with my mother when I was little, then did not sing it again for another 40 years. I listened with great interest to the other panelists, and then Brian asked a series of questions such as, “How do you feel when Christians tell you they hate the sin, not the sinner.” (My response, “I don’t think Christians should hate.”) The audience asked very thoughtful questions.

My Time of Healing
Then Brian invited the audience to come up to the platform to meet us and to perhaps apologize if they felt so moved. I could not believe almost everyone there came up to talk. Many people apologized for the way “the church” or other Christians had treated me or made me feel. It was, outside of my experience in April, the most powerful event I’ve ever been part of. I felt so healed, so loved, finally part of the Christian family and community.

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Brian McLaren Blogs on this issue

Pam is a mom a wife and a “for real” follower of Jesus. Pam spent many years working with YWAM and currently resides in Oregon. She originally got our attention by unsubscribing to The Idealab to protest the cost of a conference we produce. We liked her chutzpah and opened a dialog with her about other things that bug her about Christians and Church. In true Pam form she “took us to places we hadn’t thought about”. Fasten your seat belts and get ready to have your assumptions challenged or maybe bent.

[photopress:seehearspeaknoevil.jpg,thumb,alignleft]“What the f*** is wrong with me?” The mother lode of all swear words flew through my mouth before I could stop myself and it landed onto the ears of my missionary friends. Our conversation had become vulnerable and as I let my guard down a bit of my bloody, cuss-infested guts spilt out. I quickly apologized. They assured me that all was well, no offense taken. But I must have triggered an avalanche of swearing because they cussed it up for the rest of the evening. I hadn’t heard that much profanity since watching The Soprano’s on Sunday night.

What is it about cussing that gets our attention in the sub-culture of American Christianity? Why is it that we can go to a 12-step recovery meeting and feel more freedom with our language there than we do at a church gathering?

I know a Christian counselor who tells me that he lets his clients know they can use any words they want to express themselves to him. I kind of wonder why bartenders don’t have to do the same thing with their customers.

Recently I was in conversation with a pastor I know. To emphasize a point he said, “Why the hell…” then, as if he realized his fly was open, he quickly retracted, “I mean, ‘Why aren’t we…’” I called him on it straight away (not because I was offended, but because I was intrigued at his self-censorship). “I’m speaking freely with you,” he explained.

Religious people, to me, can be sort of like the woman in the classic Al Pacino film, Dog Day Afternoon, who said to her cussing co-workers, “I’m a Christian. My ears are not garbage cans.” The thing is, we sometimes can’t hear what someone is saying because we are too busy being riled up that they just said sh*t. When I was younger I had a roommate who was very pious and read her bible a lot. In contrast, I wrestled with some personal difficulties, like depression. She would pummel my broken heart with verse after verse of how I ought to be and feel, until one day, overcome by frustration, I finally told her to f*** off. We both sat there stunned. That little word carries a lot of power. Finally she spoke, “Pam, I don’t think it’s very godly to use language like that. The bible says…” and on she droned, unable to hear the unspoken hurt inside of me for she was too busy being offended by my language.

Swearing is not just about swearing, but about the undercurrents of our inner life. Cussing is part of the language of our emotions.

I talked with Mike Yankoski and Sam Purvis about swearing. These guys, who are followers of Christ, decided to take a break from college a few years ago and live homeless – on purpose. They traveled to different cities over several months to explore America as street people. Mike wrote a book about their experiences called Under the Overpass. His book is a fascinating look at street culture, except for one thing – it’s a sanitized memoir. Mike told me that because it was being published by a Christian publisher for a Christian audience that, in this context, it meant No Swearing. (I guess his publisher doesn’t know any cussing Christians like I do)

Mike and Sam have great insights about the power of words and swearing. They heard a lot of it while living on the streets of our nation’s cities. “Using a cuss word is almost like a non-verbal form of communication,” says Mike. “It’s like slapping someone in the middle of a sentence.” Sam decided that it’s all about context and that words themselves are neither good, nor bad, but rather how they are intended is what matters. “Language is just the carrier of our thoughts and feelings,” Sam told me

Ken and Deborah Loyd would agree. They’re pastors of The Bridge, a church in Portland, Oregon that welcomes people from the streets no matter what they look like or how they talk. Actually, the Loyd’s look and sound a lot like the very people they are giving Jesus to. “We’re not swearing, “says Deborah, “we use words that the Christian culture would call swear words, but in our culture they are not.”

Swearing in street life is like a dialect. But what about cussing Christians? Can that ever be ok? Didn’t Paul, the magnificent apostle who wrote half the new testament instruct followers of Christ to stay away from harmful speech? There are some verses that straight out say Do Not let unwholesome speech come out of your mouth. I want to know: Who decides what’s unwholesome?

In some households words like piss or crap are considered vulgar, definitely not on the wholesome list. I have sometimes wondered how Jesus got away with calling the Pharisees names like whitewashed tombs (ouch) or another time he compared them to a brood of snakes(doesn’t sound wholesome to me). We know he was considered completely sinless to God his Father, so what gives? Why did Jesus’ language not cross the line into the sin zone?

Context and intent – it seems to go back to that. Not religious wrangling over the legality of certain words, but rather, the motive of the speaker. Jesus said, “It’s your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words.” (Matthew 12:34, The Message)

“How does a follower of Jesus use language?” asked Todd Hunter, president of Alpha Course. “Love,” concludes Todd, “is to be the judge of all speech.” I think that’s the bottom line to using any language.

Mark Twain said it this way, “The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong. He can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.”

Words have power and context is everything …and I suppose I can call you butthead, as long as I do it in love.

If the number of people serving was counted rather than the number of people seated then Rich and Rose Swetman’s church in Seattle would be in the top 1% of effective churches in the U.S and getting lots of press.

When it comes to finding creative ways to serve those around them this church is definitely off the charts.

Rose recently sent in this report:

We decided to track the people responding to the idea of mission projects that are doable and that don’t necessarily involve the church–people are really grabbing hold–they are looking for doable ways to give a ‘cup of cold water’ and asking for their co-workers, family, employers, etc to join them. The response has been awesome.

This is the response we received from a group of about 12 people in our leadership training class.

1. Josh with his co-workers: Organize food drive for Seattle Food Bank
2. Emily with her husband’s co-workers: Organize drive for Women’s Shelter
3. Gary with friends: Organize blood drive
4. Ron with friend’s, co-workers and church members: Organize clothing drive and bicycle drive for overseas
5. George with friends, co-workers and members of another church: Organize shelter and meals for victims of domestic violence
6. Diane with co-workers: Organize clothing drive
7. Tuesday Group from our church: Christmas Caroling at Elderly Housing Complex; Provide Thanksgiving Dinner for family with need
8. Our Church: Members serving at Thanksgiving Dinner for residents at low income apartments
9. Our Church with local Housing Authority: Christmas Party with gifts and Santa and crafts and caroling for 100 kids, infants to 17 year olds
10. Lisa with co-workers at Police Dept: Donating $$ towards Whispering Pines Apartments Christmas Party
11. Tonya with family and co-workers: Went door to door in neighborhood and left grocery bags with a list to fill and put back out–then went and picked up grocery bags (she filled her Ford Explorer) and donated to local Food Bank.

This church is on the smallish size but has discovered that size doesn’t matter when it comes to serving. They also discovered that before you tell people what to do it is more effective to ask them what they would like to do.

Rolf Smith, a corporate consultant once had the daunting task of trying to help the Air Force make some significant changes. His tactic? He went right to the troops and asked them what they had in the way of ideas. The response was overwhelming. He had over 13,000 ideas sent in over a five-year period. Rolf thinks that the job of a leader isn’t so much to come up with good ideas, as it is to create an environment where people aren’t afraid to tell you what they’re already thinking.

That’s what happened to the Swetman’s when they went to a few ordinary Christians in their Leadership Class. By the way when it says, “friends and co-workers” it’s referring most often to their non-Christian friends at work. Even lost people know how to hand out food, give blood and collect clothes, and they are even willing to do it with Christians if we will simply invite them to join us.